Read The Long Suicide: Losing Ariel by Sara Niles Free Online
Book Title: The Long Suicide: Losing Ariel|
The author of the book: Sara Niles
Edition: Impact Books and Art
Date of issue: August 19th 2013
Format files: PDF
The size of the: 2.29 MB
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Loaded: 2055 times
Reader ratings: 4.2
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Short essay: nonfiction, suicide, grief
“She made thirty suicide attempts before the age of thirty. Some unseen and unknown inner turmoil, created a war within her: a chaotic war that she felt she could not win, but wasn’t sure she wanted to lose”
Excerpt taken from The Journey, by Sara Niles
In 2011, my daughter Ariel was still alive and doing well for the moment, when I read those words to her. Since it was about her, I needed her approval to allow me to include such a personal description of her behavior in the book, The Journey, that I was writing about her and her siblings. I read the entire chapter to her over the phone, and she gradually got quiet. I asked if the depiction of her was accurate, and she replied that I ‘hit the nail on the head-that I was dead on’, and that it scared her to see herself that way. In fact is scared her so much that she stopped her suicidal behavior for almost nine months, which was a record for her. I hoped that meant the suicidal behavior was over, but it was not.
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I was raised by eighty year-old relatives, my great-great uncle and several great aunts, all full of life's wisdom gained from years of living challenging lives. I learned storytelling from the best: my Uncle Robert told stories every night while sitting on the porch swing during breezy summer nights, as my Aunt Mollie, Aunt Bessie and Aunt Fannie chimed in. The days were full of hard work keeping up the farm, and the nights were like magic, as the lone call of the Whippoorwill provided staccato breaks during the brief silences.
Even when I was a small child no more than five or six, I loved those story nights, full of life lessons and the combined history of our family. I loved to listen, and to learn, and had ambitions to become many things in life, eager to claim my own future. My unconventional life lacked the stability that I needed to reach my goals at that time. My elders had limited life left in them, as age took them all away, one by one. Like a drowning person, I desperately grabbed onto the nearest branch of salvation offered to me, and married a Vietnam Veteran seven years my senior, when I was only sixteen years old. At first glance, I thought I had found a prince charming, but as the years passed rapidly by, I discovered the true nature of the violent man I had married.
“In the process of my evolution, I became a victim of domestic war, an emotional casualty for a major portion of my life, entwined, entrapped and emotionally involved, until I learned how to become free. Freedom has never been easily gained and has often come at high cost throughout history, but one thing I will always know is freedom is worth every fight, and all pain.”
Torn From the Inside Out
A good memoir will take the reader on an insightful journey that informs, raises awareness, and heightens social consciousness.
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